Baruck”HaShem ~ A Hebrew phrase understood to mean, “I Acknowledge the Eternal and only reality of Kindness, love and Compassion.”
& Shalom ~ May there be nothing missing and nothing broken in your body and soul, may you be at peace, and whole.
My hebrew name is Yisrae’l..:) or my english name Tanner
We all have a story (concluding, unfolding, and beginning), each day reaching its full actualization. Just as the sun makes its complete journey across the sky in one day so does our soul.
The order in which our story progresses may not seem important although, it is very important to mention “concluding..” before, “beginning“.
This is important for many reasons, one of which is because, it is taught in Kabbalah (the Mystical tradition passed down from Abraham being the unified wisdom contained within all religious systems)…That darkness precedes light, fear precedes love…And that this is the reason why in the Torah (first 5 books of bible) it is said, “there was evening and morning the first day.” being that evening comes before morning…likewise it is shown within the context of the “beginning” of the creation process, there was darkness before light.
Thus it is with our own life journeys and story, the real beginning to our life’s purpose is not when we don’t face adversity, or pain…but is when we see the light within the darkness. The good within the evil.
Once internalized and existed within, this reality leads and guides our souls into eternity, existing within the awakened / enlightened state…A place in which within all circumstance’s we connect to the eternal and unchanging reality which is God.
I am 19, and have only had 1 girlfriend, kissed 1 girl, and had 1 fiancee (more on that later). To begin, I will say, I don’t take love lightly. When I give my heart to someone I give all of myself, and become transparent with this person. Love and happiness is a way of life for me, like breathing…whether it is at the store, at the bank, at pottery houses, at yoga, or just walking around, I deeply and genuinely care about the well being of my fellow brother and sisters (humans and all of life whether it divinity is manifesting in, animals, plants, and minerals)…and I love talking to people. A smile is so powerful in a world filled with the amount of confusion / darkness as this generation, and often the most powerful thing to be is simply loving.
Having said that, just a few weeks ago, my fiancee in one day and with no warning left me. I was blocked on her and her family’s phones and from their lives, told not to come over, or to try contact them ever again. Suffice to say, I was extremely confused thinking of what I could have possibly done. I thought back of my actions towards her…I constantly complimented her, always let her know how important was she to me, wrote letters to her, wrote love poems and blessing to the divine feminine aspect of divinity which i spoke over her, (on Shabbat/Sabbath) each week, we would have wine together, and every week I brought different types of flowers to her. I would pour my love over her, I took her shopping and loved looking at clothes with her, bought her painting supplies and would speak to her about her projects and her drawings, and just stare at them with her and listen to her speak about what her heart was thinking as she painted them. I would take her to do pottery because she loved art. I would make sure to just be silent and listen, and just be in her presence…that was enough, we didn’t have to do anything or be anywhere, just to be together was wonderful. I reminded her that I loved her for who she was currently and not of what she would be or become one day, and that she didn’t ever have to feel she had to “earn” my love, or “become something different”
…Despite this, right after she broke up with me, I began questioning a lot of my priorities in my life again (specifically religious) because she left me. She felt she wasn’t ready to be in a relationship. I fought and came and cried and said that growth is apart of all our souls journey, and we can enter into this time of growth and questioning together, and that this is part of a relationship – that you don’t give up, no matter how hard it gets or no matter what happen, no matter what gets confusing you don’t shut out those who love you. Unfortunately people came into her life, and told her to stop being in a relationship with me…and she gave up. They told her, that she needed to grow alot more before she thought about romantic relationships. Although despite my efforts, she took off her ring, and returned the blessing / love poem i wrote for my love to the feminine aspect of the divine image, which i saw as embodied within her (being my fiancee, in Judaism she is seen as the imitate presence of the creator itself).
I can now see clearly, that having this occur to me was extremely amazing, and a absolute blessing.
She was brought to a place in her life and heart, where I asked her to confront her fear’s (of leaving / disagreeing with her parents, and to choose love. The reality and transformation of fear and love is the purpose of every soul’s incarnation. She did not want to, and chose to rather live under the illusion of comfort and security, which quickly became seen as a prison of fear, one in which the outside world was cut off. It is heart breaking to see the crippling effects of fear, but so powerful to have God show me in such a clear way…the purpose of our souls incarnation being,
The transformation of our fear, bringing one to the embodiment of Pure love.
Through this moment in life…My fear of betrayal, and abandonment…was actualized, and I was thus blessed with the powerful opportunity of facing this fear, or to suppress this fear, thus locking oneself within a prison for the soul, never actualizing the infinite reality of pure light and love manifested within all things…I choose and am choosing to face fear, For in the moment one truly faces there fear, they in so doing overcome it.
At that moment, in my life, I was brought to my first yoga class, and we came to Inspire Yoga. After the first class – I struggle to explain the feeling, it is like hearing a favorite song that you haven’t listened to in a long time, and as soon as it comes on, you get this feeling and just let go as you return to this place in your heart. That is one way of explaining what Yoga is like for me, something in which you exist in consistent and pure state of flow, with the energy with ones one body. The creator using Yoga and Meditation among many other things has greatly assisted me within this process of transformation that was so readily available to all humans. The choice of life and Love rather then fear. Yoga helps my body align with my soul, and my soul align with my heart, the heart then bringing wholeness to all.
Left echoing in my ears were the words of one of the teacher’s who was taking the class that evening. I walked up to him after class and said something like…”Shalom:) you are so good at yoga!!!!:)” and he laughed and gave a big smile ( i thought he was just taking a compliment and smiling). Instead, he looked back at me and said, “You can’t be good at yoga!” Those words haven’t left me since, because all of the sudden my mind was shifted again. I went from a place of focusing outward to inward. The practice of yoga was a methodology much like meditation, of the journey within oneself. Thus almost everyday for 2 weeks I have been going to yoga. Each teacher having a different flow throughout the positions, but all sharing a loving smile, a warm heart, a genuine interest in helping humanity, non judgmental, and so encouraging to make the practice exactly what your body needs at that time, never pushing people to a place in there practice they aren’t prepared for, but always encouraging them to grow and push themselves past their limitations.
Love Liberates. With so much fear and hatred locking people in bigger boundaries, we need equality and tolerance more then ever. I pray that we can all be apart of this revolution of love. We must all confront our fears or live bound in there limitations. The ability is within our very hearts to unite and stand for love regardless of those around us. Just as the Sages teach,
“If I am not for myself who will be? If I am only for myself what am I? And if not now, when?”
This story was shared by Yisrae’l Lynam and edited by Nancy Nelson